By For a long time, I was hard on myself for things I believed and said and choices I made.
I’d look back and think, “How could I have thought that? How could I have taught that? How could I have done that?”
The guilt was heavy.
But something shifted when I started having compassion for my journey.
What helped? A couple things. …
First, I realized none of us get where we are alone.
We’re shaped by our genetics, our upbringing, our environment, the voices we trusted and the pain we carried.
I’ve come to realize: I acted based on what I knew at the time. And so did you.
For example, I’ve heard stories from people who can’t forgive themselves for how they treated their kids. Especially when they swore they’d never repeat what was done to them.
But trauma isn’t neutral.
It shapes us. And sometimes it even blocks the very qualities we needed to do better.
That’s not an excuse. It’s a reason. And reasons help us understand, not escape accountability.
Second, I had to release unrealistic expectations.
Perfection isn’t the standard. It never was. If it were, Jesus wouldn’t have needed to die.
As I said in my last message about forgiving yourself, God knew you couldn’t be perfect. That’s why He built grace into the plan.
So if you’re carrying guilt, maybe it’s time to stop walking the tightrope.
You’re not expected to get it all right. You’re expected to need a Savior. And you have one.
You’re not disqualified. You aren’t beyond forgiveness. You’re human. And you’re loved.
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Need more help? I devote an entire message to “how to forgive yourself” in my series Good News & Good Advice, along with four other practical teachings about belonging, rejection and forgiving others. Get the full series today for your donation of any amount.